Beer Trek Rules

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Show	Character	Drink
ALL		When someone asks for permission to speak freely

ALL		When someone yells "Brace for impact!"

ALL		When there is a reference to Native Americans

ALL	all	and count along with the self-destruct lady

ALL	all	and fall out of your chair when the bridge is hit and everyone falls out of their chairs

ALL	all	and give the "Mirror, Mirror" salute when someone says "Starfleet"

ALL	all	and yell "Khaaannnnnn!!!" when someone says "you have the conn"

ALL	all	for "space" objects where their mundane counterparts would serve as well. examples: Vash's space shovel, anyone's glittery space pillow in their quarters

ALL	all	for a 47, or permutation thereof

ALL	all	for a clipboard pass. drink again if it's a TOS big clipboard

ALL	all	for a non-corporeal life form (gas being, energy being, thought being, etc.)

ALL	all	for a uniform fix

ALL	all	for an officers' meeting

ALL	all	for an unacceptable answer*

ALL	all	for any mention of late 20th century earth

ALL	all	for any mention of the exact number of crewmembers on a ship or station

ALL	all	for any unnecessary jump or dive

ALL	all	for homosexual undertones in dialogue or situations

ALL	all	for identity affirmation*

ALL	all	for self - referential Star Trek*

ALL	all	for someone else's log (besides the captain)

ALL	all	for the first appearance of any major character in an episode

ALL	all	for the same actor appearing in a different role*

ALL	all	for the same actor in a different occupation*

ALL	All	start drinking when a transport sequence starts and don't stop until everyone has re-materialized

ALL	all	when a character is sexually harassed by a holodeck character

ALL	all	when a character tells another character, "You're with me."

ALL	all	when a character utters the name of the episode

ALL	all	when a commanding officer takes both roles in "good cop/bad cop"*

ALL	all	when a crewmember is forced to wear an alien accessory (belt, collar, bracelet, etc.)

ALL	all	when a crewmember poses as a traveler from a faraway village

ALL	all	when a major character is in the brig

ALL	all	when a ship decloaks

ALL	all	when a ship flies through the debris of a destroyed ship

ALL	all	when a Starfleet character is addressed by their first name

ALL	all	when a Starfleet officer refuses to kill

ALL	all	when a system is offline

ALL	all	When an EPS conduit blows out

ALL	all	when an exploding panel sends someone flying- drink again if someone replaces them

ALL	all	when anyone runs or orders a diagnostic- drink the rest of your beer for a level 1 diagnostic

ALL	all	when engineering is evacuated

ALL	all	when someone attempts communication and fails

ALL	all	when someone does one last thing at a console before they get up

ALL	all	when someone does something on all frequencies

ALL	all	when someone drinks

ALL	all	when someone evolves into a higher life form

ALL	all	when someone gets laid

ALL	all	when someone is attempting to compensate

ALL	all	when someone is beamed directly to sickbay

ALL	all	when someone is in dress uniform

ALL	all	when someone is outside the holodeck, but dressed for a holodeck program

ALL	all	when someone is relieved of duty

ALL	all	when someone is showing skin

ALL	all	when someone is stranded or left behind

ALL	all	when someone is surgically altered to resemble another race

ALL	all	when someone is talked out of their weapons

ALL	all	when someone is the sole survivor of something

ALL	all	when someone mentions the Tal Shiar

ALL	all	when someone refers to a continent by compass direction ("the Northern Continent...")

ALL	all	when someone removes an access panel

ALL	all	when someone removes their comm badge (or someone removes it for them)

ALL	ALL	When someone reverses the polarity.

ALL	all	when someone says "get us (or them) out of here (or there)!"

ALL	all	when someone says "magnify"

ALL	all	when someone says "nacelles"

ALL	all	when someone says "on my mark... Mark!"

ALL	all	when someone says "subspace"

ALL	all	when someone says "with all due respect..."

ALL	all	when someone says something in an alien language, then translates into English

ALL	all	When someone says "prime directive"

ALL	all	when someone scolds or lectures a superior being

ALL	all	when someone sets their phaser for wide dispersal

ALL	all	when someone stops the turbolift

ALL	all	when someone stuck in the holodeck tries and fails to end the program

ALL	all	when someone takes "full responsibility"

ALL	all	when someone takes it in their quarters (or ready room)

ALL	all	when someone uses the holodeck to solve a problem

ALL	all	when someone's name is part of an access code or program name

ALL	all	when superior officer takes control of the ship or station

ALL	all	when the computer is scanned by an alien ship / computer /probe

ALL	all	when the computer says that a character is not aboard the ship or station

ALL	all	When the holodeck safeties are disengaged

ALL	all	when there are nazis in the storyline

ALL	all	when there's a bypass

ALL	all	when there's a bypass

ALL	all	when there's a containment field

ALL	all	when two characters look like they're about to kiss, even though you know they're not

ALL	any "emotionless" character	when they totally show emotion

ALL	any alien	for a rant about how cool their fucked-up society is

ALL	any alien	when they curse in their own language

ALL	any alien	when they say "human" like it's an insult (Play Beer Trek, hu-man?)

ALL	any Borg	when "You will be assimilated." Finish your drink if the character actually is.

ALL	any Borg	when something is "irrelevant"

ALL	any Borg	when something is removed from a dead Borg

ALL	any Captain	for "No, wait! Why not take me instead?"

ALL	any Captain	when the captain defies orders and saves the day

ALL	any Captain	when they ask for more time

ALL	any Doctor	when the doctor gives orders to a superior officer

ALL	any engineer	when they give a repair estimate

ALL	any Klingon	when "it is a good day to die"

ALL	any Romulan	when a Romulan is undercover, or someone is undercover as a Romulan

ALL	any Vulcan	for the mind meld

ALL	any Vulcan	when ears are hidden under a hat or bandana etc.

ALL	none	for a briefly visible force field

ALL	none	for a garbled distress call

ALL	none	for a paradigm shift*

ALL	none	for a warp core breach

ALL	none	for an alien boarding party on the bridge

ALL	none	for Jeffries Tubes

ALL	none	for mention of (but not appearance of) a TOS character

ALL	none	for mention of or reference to Shakespeare

ALL	none	for shields dropping by a certain percentage

ALL	none	when authorized to exceed warp speed limitations

ALL	none	when something is venting plasma

ALL	none	when Starfleet is "the Man"

ALL	none	when the crew suffers the same fate as the ship they're investigating

ALL	none	when the main deflector array is reconfigured for another purpose

ALL	none	when there is a logo of a race or group displayed on a screen

ALL	none	when there's a missing research team

ALL	none	when there's a probe

ALL	none	when you can see the holodeck grid

ALL	Q	when he's hitting on someone, or in bed with someone

ALL	Riker	any time Riker hits on ANY lifeform

DS9	all	and yell "Dabo!" when someone else does

DS9	all	for mention of "voles". finish your beer if the vole is seen

DS9	all	for mention of, or appearance of the "Great Link"

DS9	all	when someone implies that they've been talking to Morn

DS9	all	when someone mentions that "no shapeshifter/changeling has ever harmed another"

DS9	all	when someone mentions the Jem H'darr

DS9	all	when someone mentions the Obsidian Order

DS9	all	when someone says "the provisional government"

DS9	all Ferengi	for ear/genital equivalance

DS9	Bashir	when he hits on Dax

DS9	Dax	for mention of any of her former lives

DS9	Dax	when anyone hits on her

DS9	Dax	when she's a guy

DS9	Dax	when Sisko calls her "Old Man"

DS9	Eddington	when he has a line

DS9	Garak	when he's spy guy

DS9	Jake	when he's black Wesley

DS9	Kira	for her lacy white top

DS9	Kira	when it's evident that Odo has a crush on her

DS9	Morn	and say "Morn!" when you first see him

DS9	Morn	when he's away from the bar

DS9	Morn	when someone implies that they've been talking to Morn

DS9	none	when someone says "Tarak Nor"

DS9	none	when the wormhole closes

DS9	none	when the wormhole opens

DS9	none	when they go out of their way to avoid showing what was probably a pretty cool space battle

DS9	O'Brien	when he has marital problems

DS9	O'Brien	when he's in a counselling session

DS9	O'Brien	when you see his dart board

DS9	Odo	when he and Quark butt heads

DS9	Odo	when he butts heads with Worf

DS9	Odo	when he mentions his distaste for violence

DS9	Odo	when he morphs

DS9	Odo	when he warns Quark that he's got his eye on him

DS9	Odo	when it's evident that he has a crush on Kira

DS9	Odo	when you see his bucket

DS9	Quark	when he tries to sell some crap

DS9	Quark	when Odo warns him that he's got his eye on him

DS9	Quark	when Rom stands up to him

DS9	Rom	when he says "Moogie!"

DS9	Rom	when he stands up to Quark

DS9	Rom	when he's smart

DS9	Sisko	and raise your glass and say "to the captain!" when someone calls him "Captain"

DS9	Sisko	when he calls Dax "Old Man"

DS9	Sisko	when he cooks

DS9	Sisko	when someone refers to him as the emissary

DS9	Sisko	when you see his baseball

DS9	Worf	when he butts heads with Odo

ENT	all	for the terms "Captain's Starlog" or "hull plating"

ENT	ALL	when there's a water polo reference

ENT	Andorian military personnel	when Andorian soldiers address a human as "pinkskin."

ENT	Archer	when Archer takes off his shirt on an alien planet.

ENT	Hoshi	when she fucks up a translation

ENT	Hoshi	when she speaks in another language

ENT	Mayweather	when someone calls him Mister instead of Ensign

ENT	Phlox	when he blinks

ENT	Phlox	when his face expands

ENT	Phlox	when one of his sickbay "pets" makes noise or runs loose outside their cage

ENT	Porthos	for space beagle at first appearance in an episode.

ENT	Porthos	when he does something does something (barks, wags tail, etc.)

ENT	Porthos	when he eats cheese

ENT	Reed	when a reference is made to the British Royal Navy.

ENT	Reed	when he is shown eating

ENT	Reed	when his family is mentioned

ENT	Trip	when he talks about his sister

ENT	Trip	when someone calls him Tucker

ENT	T'Pol	when a reference is made to the terrible smell of humans.

ENT	T'Pol	when T'Pol gives Tripp a look of helpless adoration.

TAS	ALL	all TOS rules apply

TNG	all	the rest of your beer when there's a guy in a uniform miniskirt

TNG	all	when "authorized to exceed warp speed limitations"

TNG	all	when there's a crew recital / play / performance in Ten Forward

TNG	all	when they play poker

TNG	Data	for unnecessary precision

TNG	Data	Sees a member of his family

TNG	Data	when Data's resistance to gas/virus/bullets/etc saves the day

TNG	Data	when he "is attempting to do so"

TNG	Data	when he does something super-fast

TNG	Data	when he doesn't get it

TNG	Data	when his head is open

TNG	Data	when you see one of his paintings

TNG	Data	when you see Spot

TNG	Guinan	when she sets someone straight

TNG	LaForge	for Geordi-vision

TNG	LaForge	when he invents something

TNG	LaForge	when he rolls his chair from one station to another

TNG	LaForge	When he rolls under the door while engineering is being sealed off

TNG	LaForge	when he tells the bridge "we've got a problem..."

TNG	LaForge	when his visor is altered for evil purposes

TNG	LaForge	when you can see his eyes

TNG	none	the rest of your beer for a saucer separation

TNG	none	when you can see out through the top of the bridge into space

TNG	Picard	when he crosses his legs like a girl

TNG	Picard	when he says "I appreciate your concern..."

TNG	Picard	when he says "make it so"

TNG	Picard	when he says "Engage"

TNG	Picard	when he uses a loophole in negotiations

TNG	Picard	when he wears his sude uniform

TNG	Picard	when you see his flute

TNG	Riker	and sing "Action MANNNN!" when he walks in like he's "Action Man", or stands like he's Action Man

TNG	Riker	for "rrrrred alert!"

TNG	Riker	when he passes up a commission

TNG	Riker	when he squints in anger or derision

TNG	Riker	when he steps over a chair to sit on it

TNG	Riker	when he's scamming chicks

TNG	Riker	when you see his trombone

TNG	Troi	when she changes her outfit

TNG	Troi	when she makes that face. you know what we're talking about.

TNG	Troi	when she mentions or eats chocolate

TNG	Wesley	when he wears a sweater

TNG	Wesley	when he's a dork. actively, not just standing there

TNG	Worf	when he does an open-fisted Worf Punch

TNG	Worf	when he gets his ass kicked

TNG	Worf	when he has a hard - on for Troi

TNG	Worf	when he has a hard - on for violence

TNG	Worf	when he's a pussy Klingon (actively, not just standing there)

TNG	Worf	when you see the statue in his quarters

TOS	all	for a close-up of a hand holding a phaser

TOS	all	for hazy chick filter

TOS	all	for obvious stunt doubles

TOS	all	for reaction to an invisible pain force

TOS	all	for Starfleet panties

TOS	all	when an artificial intelligence is confused into submission

TOS	all	when someone other than Uhura has the thingie in his ear

TOS	all	when someone puts a disk into a drive

TOS	Bones	"He's dead Jim!"

TOS	Bones	when he antagonizes Spock

TOS	Bones	when he bitches about using the transporter

TOS	Bones	when he injects himself

TOS	Bones	when he's in short sleeves

TOS	Chapel	when she loves Spock

TOS	Chekov	see Teegar Taylor's Mr. Chekov Drinking Game

TOS	Chekov	when he claims something was invented/discovered by a Russian

TOS	Chekov	when he substitutes 'W' for 'V' or wice-wersa

TOS	Kirk	for any of his 17 violations of time-travel protocol

TOS	Kirk	for that lighting on his eyes

TOS	Kirk	when he does a double-fisted Kirk punch

TOS	Kirk	when he fights someone from his past

TOS	Kirk	when he grabs a woman by the shoulders

TOS	Kirk	when he steals someone's woman

TOS	Kirk	when he's bluffing

TOS	McCOy	Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a [ fill it in ]!

TOS	none	for 1st appearance of the monster

TOS	none	for an evil paradise. finish your beer if paradise is destroyed.

TOS	none	for fake boulders thrown, or heated with a phaser

TOS	none	for the whistle

TOS	none	the rest of your beer when a red shirt survives an away mission

TOS	none	when a red shirt gets killed

TOS	none	when an alien species does not have love, sex, or kissing

TOS	none	when God is a computer, or vice-versa

TOS	none	when the force field light bulbs go off

TOS	none	when the turbolift changes direction

TOS	Scotty	for bogus Scottishisms

TOS	Spock	for references to his satanic appearance

TOS	Spock	for the nerve pinch

TOS	Spock	for unnecessary precision

TOS	Spock	when Chapel loves him

TOS	Spock	when he coldly and logically persues the mission, while Bones argues, "We've got to save Jim, dammit!"

TOS	Spock	when he fights with Sarek

TOS	Spock	when he raises an eyebrow

TOS	Spock	when he says "fascinating"

TOS	Spock	when someone uses "Vulcan" as an expletive

TOS	Spock	when they cut to him for a "no-reaction" shot

TOS	Sulu	when he confirms the warp or course

TOS	Sulu	when he hits on someone

TOS	Uhura	when she leaves the bridge

TOS	Uhura	when she sings

TOS	Uhura	when she takes the thingie out of her ear

VOY	all	when someone mentions "70,000 light years"

VOY	all	when someone mentions bioneural gel packs

VOY	ALL	when there's a Captain Proton reference

VOY	all	when you see a picture of a crew member's family/lover/dog in the Alpha Quadrant

VOY	Chakotay	when he explains something in his native language

VOY	Chakotay	when he makes goo-goo eyes at Janeway

VOY	Chakotay	when he toes the Starfleet line against his fellow Maquis

VOY	Chakotay	when you see his space peyote

VOY	Doc	when he says "please state the nature of the medical emergency"

VOY	Doc	when he's upset about not being turned off

VOY	Doc	when Kes tells him how to have bedside manner

VOY	Doctor	when he gets close to having a name

VOY	Janeway	when her hair comes out of the bun

VOY	Janeway	when she makes goo-goo eyes at Chakotay

VOY	Janeway	when she says "Report!"

VOY	Janeway	when she shows her deathwish

VOY	Janeway	when she stands like Robin Hood

VOY	Kes	when she has a private session of mental training with Tuvok

VOY	Kes	when she tells the doctor how to have bedside manner

VOY	Kim	when he dies

VOY	Kim	when he dies

VOY	Kim	when Paris tries to corrupt him

VOY	Kim	when Torres calls him "Starfleet"

VOY	Neelix	and say "Neeeeelix!" in a screechy voice when anyone else says "Neelix"

VOY	Neelix	when he bullshits about knowing about the area of space they're in or the people there

VOY	Neelix	when he changes outfits

VOY	Neelix	when he fucks up in the kitchen

VOY	Neelix	when he recites a recipe

VOY	Neelix	when someone bitches about his cooking

VOY	none	a bottle of champagne if there's ever an episode that's as good as a TNG or TOS episode

VOY	none	the rest of your beer when Voyager lands

VOY	none	When anyone says "compensating!"

VOY	none	when something else from the Alpha Quadrant is in the Delta Quadrant

VOY	none	when the warp nacelles fold up

VOY	none	when they fire one of their precious and unreplenishable photon torpedoes

VOY	Paris	when he and Torres Kiss

VOY	Paris	when he tries to corrupt Kim

VOY	Paris	when he's scamming chicks

VOY	Seven	for a gratuitous camera "pan-up" of her backside

VOY	Seven	whenever her nanobots are reconfigured to solve some problem

VOY	Torres	when she and Tom Kiss

VOY	Torres	when she calls Kim "Starfleet"

VOY	Torres	when she is conflicted with being half-human

VOY	Tuvok	when he has a private session of mental training with Kes

VOY	Tuvok	when he's sittling in his corner of the mess hall

Footnotes

(all dialogue examples purely imaginary unless otherwise noted)

Good Cop/Bad Cop - typical Starfleet dressing down of a crewmember, followed by making nice. Example - Picard: "Mr. Worf, your actions were inexcusable! As long as you are a member of this crew, you will obey my orders, is that clear?" Worf: "Yes, sir." Worf turns to go. Picard: "Mr. Worf. <pause> nice work..." (or somesuch)

Identity Affirmation - when a character asserts who they are. This covers many situations, from McCoy saying "I'm a doctor, not a..." to Picard introducing himself to the captain of another vessel: "I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise.;quot;

Paradigm Shift - once in a great while, something actually does change in the Star Trek Universe: someone dies, suddenly there are warp speed limitations, etc. We celebrate these occasions with a drink.

Self-referential Star Trek - mention of events or people from past episodes

Same Actor in a Different Occupation - "Directed by Patrick Stewart", etc.

Same Actor in a Different Role - just what it sounds like. Nurse Chapel/Lwaxana Troi for example.

Unacceptable Answer - when a crewmember responds with a line that is more dramatic than practical. Example - Picard: "Geordi, what's going on down there?" Geordi: "Something very strange..."